The Funfair

After driving miles out of my way for days in an effort to prevent my children from finding out the Easter fair was in town, they finally clocked it a few days ago and have nagged me to take them ever since. I used to love the fair and it's not that I'm such a miserly old boot but I now see things things through adult eyes and those rickety old rides just don't look safe.

Of course I conceded and took my two youngest this afternoon. My eldest daughter won't be seen dead in public with us so she stayed home and my first thought was, "Oh good, cheaper for me then," until she indignantly pointed out that it was only right I should give her the money instead. Hmphh!

Anyway, the first ride I was dragged onto was the Cyclone and quite how those carriages miss crashing into each other I will never know. Then the dumb guy in the control box thought it would be fun to switch direction and sent us flying forwards which made the centre post look horrendously close. I could not open my eyes.

Then we went on the Waltzer and I remained convinced throughout the ride that the carriage was going to fly right off the track and straight into the Dodgems.

After this, the children went on a few kiddie rides to give me a breather but these rides totally failed to thrill them so in my wisdom I decided to try a new ride called Froggit and how mentally stupid was that idea?? The carriages went up and then repeatedly bounced up and down in mid-air, spinning round at the same time. Talk about white knuckles! Horrid! Needless to say, my legs are still wobbling and my stomach is still in my boots. I kid you not!

The kids enjoyed it all though and that was the point. Actually, I'm not so sure about my little boy. His face looked a bit green on the Waltzer and his eyes were bulging slightly on the Cyclone. I think he'd have been happy spending the afternoon going up and down the bouncy slide and playing Hook-a-Duck.

But – what I really want to know is….where the heck has all my confidence gone? When I was younger I would try any and every ride going. The faster, higher, scarier – the better it was. Our Easter fair used to be set up on an area of land far bigger than the one it now uses and it really was huge. Clare will remember it. There were three Speedways, two Waltzers, a ski-jump, Cyclone, Orbitter and loads, loads more. And it was always much more fun in the evenings when it was all lit up and the rides were much faster. Me and my friend would go on just about everything. The Dodgems were the only thing that did nothing for me. We would literally chain-ride the Waltzer, demanding the poor fairground guy to spin us faster. How did we stomach it? And we thought we were oh-so-cool when we stood up against the bars of the Speedway instead of sitting on the bikes or in the carriages. Then we would go home giggling and elated because the gypsy lad from the Speedway had…gasp…winked at us. Why do fairground lads always have missing teeth and scouse accents?

"The louder you scream, the faster we go!"


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by clare on April 22, 2006 at 9:54 pm

    I can smell the place!


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