Try a Little Tenderness

On Thursdays my little boy has his swimming lesson.  A little girl, who is  also his classmate at school, attends the swimming class too and most weeks, after the lesson, I find myself positioned next to this little girl and her mother for the drying and dressing session.  I often find myself mortified because this little girl's mum is always so irritable and tends to be very aggressive and impatient with her.  She rushes her and pushes her and quite often smacks her legs for absolutely no reason at all.  The child acts no different from any other six-year old and she looks awfully embarrassed and self-conscious when her mother is roughly dragging her clothes over her head and smacking her legs for "not shaping up" quickly enough. 

Anyway, for the past couple of weeks her grandma has been bringing her and at first I felt hopeful that maybe grandma would be a bit softer and more tender.  But oh no!  Just as flippin' bad! 

So…this week – tonight – me and my son were next to them in  the changing room and as grandma was pushing and shoving her into her clothes I started to have a laugh and a giggle with this little girl.  My little boy joined in too and I exaggerated my "fun-time" with Josh, dragging Grandma into the fun too.  And do you know what?  It rubbed off on her.  She became much kinder towards her grand-daughter.  She became much gentler and even spoke to her decently. 

I know it won't make a huge impact but maybe now and then she'll be aware of me and Josh and it will prick her conscience a touch…just enough to make her ease off on her aggressiveness towards this sweet little girl. 

I'm sure that both the mother and grandmother love this child with all their heart and I'm sure they do the best they can and hell, I'm not perfect myself but I just can't help feeling a touch sorry for this girl who is so pretty and sweet.  She hasn't a clue about the stresses and hassles that adults have to go through and it's not her fault that they have them. 

Let's try to remember that children can't see things through adult eyes because they've never been one.  But all adults have been children.


5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by misslionheart on June 23, 2006 at 10:21 am

    This reminds me of an incident in the supermarket, where a ‘mother’ gave her toddler a hard smack on the back for touching stuff on the shelves. I swear, I nearly cried at the expression on the little one’s face. Then I thought,’Well if THATS what she does in public’………….


  2. Yes, I’m always disturbed to witness kids being hit. We should never hit our children. We are three/four times the weight and size of them. And it gives them the wrong message that hitting out solves problems. Also, if an adult hit another adult he or she would be charged with assault but it’s ok for an adult to hit a child? Work that one out.

    Regarding the mum and grandma I talked about in my post, I’m sure there’s no real harm happening…just a bit too much of the “harsh and rough” going on a bit too often.


  3. Posted by misslionheart on June 23, 2006 at 9:37 pm

    Will be interesting to see their behaviour next week. The daughter( of the Grandmother) obviously was treat the same, don’t you think?


  4. Posted by Express on July 1, 2006 at 6:53 pm

    Dont you feel sorry for the children??? It breaks my heart to see anyone be mean to children. Maybe G-Ma and Mother will learn something..


  5. Yes, and very often, children who are treated badly learn this behaviour to be a norm and are then judged for their own deviant behaviour.

    Express…happy thanksgiving to you and yours. Hope it’s been a good day for you.


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