Prank 101: Margaret Thatcher to have a State Funeral

Goodness me folks, I do wish they’d stop fooling around with our sensibilities like this.  My nerves just can’t take such trickery. 

It seems that Gordon Brown and dear old Queenie have got together and decided to fool around with their subjects . . . play a little joke on us and pretend they’re planning a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher.  Really, they should leave the pranks to the experts such as Westminster court jester Jackie Smith who thinks that shock visits to victims of knife-crime for youths found carrying knives is the answer to the teen-knife problem.  I mean does she really believe that knife victims would appreciate having a line-up of knife-yielding sight-seers coming to stare at them while they get stitched back together in A&E?  I appreciate that kids don’t always ‘get’ consequences and facing up to the devastation they’ve caused might have some effect but it’s not going to stun them all into laying down their knives.  It’s a gimmick and I’m sure the health care workers will be expressing some very strong objections should this loony idea be permitted. 

Anyway, back to Madge and her future state funeral – honestly, is it not in bad taste to discuss the poor old trout’s funeral before she’s actually departed from this good planet?  Well she is getting on in years and she’s had a couple of health scares recently so a bit of forward planning would be prudent, wouldn’t it.  And if the tax-payer is going to foot the bill, I want a say in what’s going to be on the sandwiches at the wake.  

No doubt the many eulogies that are sure to be written about her will be a mixed bag of bitter soundbites and adulating praise.  But admire her or hate her, there’s no denying that the Iron Lady divided this country.  Sure, she was a strong leader, a tough and unyielding politician but she had a compassion deficit that George Bush would envy and many will remember her most for her neo-liberalist, corporate-hugging, dog-eat-dog policies that brought great wealth to a few and grief and misery to hundreds of thousands.  She was an iconic force among the rich and the devil incarnate to the poor.  She taught us to value selfishness above community spirit.  She promoted a culture of greed and played it against a culture of discontentment.  She snatched milk from children while the yuppies sipped champagne.  She cancelled society and sold off our state assets (“I used to own shares in water, gas, electricity and Telecom, but then the government sold them all.”  Stephen Fry).  She called Mandela a terrorist and was an apologist and friend to Pinochet.  She tore the heart out of communities and stole the dignity of the workers.  She destroyed whole industries, caused violent divisions and broke the trade unions (say what you like about the trade unions but they have been a powerful force in the fight for employment justice).  She came, she divided and she ruled.  And t’was thus betrayed and dispelled by her very own.

So thank the gods of tomfoolery that this whole silly state funeral business is just a sick joke. 

It’s not?  You’re kidding right?

They wouldn’t dare . . . . . !!!!

Well I’ll fight it with every breathe of my body.  This lady’s not for turning!  😀


10 responses to this post.

  1. You’ve reminded me of one of my favourite Elvis Costello songs, ‘Tramp the Dirt Down’. The tunes not one of his best, but the words are pure vitriol.
    “Well I hope I don’t die too soon
    I pray the Lord my soul to save
    Oh I’ll be a good boy, I’m trying so hard to behave
    Because there’s one thing I know, I’d like to live
    long enough to savour
    That’s when they finally put you in the ground
    I’ll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down”

    And yes, he was talking about Thatcher. State funeral? I’d rather die.


  2. Hi Pete.

    I don’t know that song but I’ll have a look on youtube. It’s sure to be on there. They have Spitting Image clips featuring her. Brilliant stuff! I can vaguely remember a Billy Bragg song about her.

    Yes she made a lot of enemies and was intensely disliked by many. She put many families through a great deal of hardship. Not many will be quick to forgive and forget.


  3. and many others. I remember her still as ‘Thatcher the Milk Snatcher’ when she was Minister of Health in the early ’70s. As George Bernard Shaw said, “Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.” What did we do to deserve that woman?


  4. Thanks for the link Pete. Nice song, passionate lyrics. I listened to the pre-song interview too. The interviewer seemed quite offended by the lyrics. She called them ugly I think.

    Yes, what did we do to deserve her.


  5. I still can’t believe no one shot her.


  6. Well she was certainly a target for an assassination attempt by an aggrieved individual or two but of course, as much as I detested her, I could never have condoned such an act.


  7. Not only you did suffer Ms Thatcher. The rest of the “civilised” world also did. We’re still seeing governments doing politics in her style everywhere. Privatisations galore, privatisations that by the way do lift heavy burdens off politicians’ shoulders, but that put that burden on our pockets.

    Let her rest in peace. Only that her death does not mean we’ll live in peace on Earth.


  8. You’re right Jose. Her legacy lives on, unfortunately. She was a right proper ruthless, corporate hugging neo-liberalist.


  9. I have to say, I could not agree with you in 100%, but that’s just my opinion, which indeed could be wrong.
    p.s. You have a very good template . Where have you got it from?


  10. Dear Friends, Happy Fool’s Day!!!

    A rabbi, a priest and a minister are discussing when life begins.
    The priest says: “In our religion, life begins at conception.”
    The minister says: “We disagree. We believe that life begins when the foetus is viable away from the mother’s womb.”
    The rabbi responds: “You both are wrong. In our religion, life begins when the kids graduate college and the dog dies.”

    Happy April Fool’s Day!


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