I watched the Prime Ministerial debate on Thursday and I’m going to make one of those bold statements now – one of those impulsive, heat-of-the-moment comments that are impossible to live up to but we say them anyway because at that time it’s the only way to vent our frustrations. You know the ones I mean – like when we yell at our kids that we’re going to ground them for a year if they don’t behave, knowing full well that it’s utterly infeasible to ground them for a whole year and the discipline is totally lost on them because they know it too so they usually just ignore us and carry on doing what they were told not to do.
Anyway, here’s my grand and bold statement (so grand and bold that I’m going to use bold type to say it) . . .
If that pathetic, patronising prick of a person David Cameron becomes our Prime Minister in May, I am going to leave the country and I bloody well mean that!
Let’s hope to goodness that my grand and bold statement is not put to the test although whatever the outcome is there’s little to look forward to, apart from a much-needed Green MP in Westminster which is looking more and more likely as the campaign unfolds. Yay to that. The Greens have launched their campaign manifesto which you can read here but it deserves a post on its own so more on that later but reality tells us that it’s one of the the main three, Labour, Lib-Dem and Tories that we will have to put up with for another four years. I really don’t like it when people say, they’re all the same. I think it shows a lack of thinking but do you know what? They’re all the same. So laws of physics, maths, whatever, dictates that the outcome will be not good.
Do you know, the Tories in my area have recently developed a very keen interest in the welfare and happiness of myself and my family. They’ve been sending me regular updates on their political party plans and they even call round on sunny evenings for friendly doorstep chats. It’s truly touching. After all these years without a whiff of a councillor, MP or community representative, I now have several of them outside my house on an almost daily basis. And if they don’t visit in person, they send me lots of lovely mail, hand-written no less with lovely glossy, forest-friendly pamphlets to accompany the letters.
It’s amazing how, after years of absence, they’re suddenly falling over themselves to tend to my needs and wishes. I wonder if the May election has anything to do with their sudden urge to introduce themselves. Someone ought to tell that smarmy, bossy leader of theirs that Boris Johnson did not introduce the Living Wage. Admiration and kudos for that commendable policy goes to our dear red Ken.
Progressive?? No, reactionary. Radical?? Laugh-out-loud funny. And utterly opportunistic.
Of course, you could argue that at least the Tories are making the effort to reach me unlike the other parties but when you consider the agenda and the fact that they’ve been nowhere near me for the past four years and more, I can only view their new friendliness with deep and snarling cynicism and basically, they can all go to hell.